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I made this print to remind me of those hugs when I need it. (Sign up for the newsletter for a free printable version + keep reading for more about the awesomeness of sewing)
This is not news to avid sewists, or to the internet. And hobbies, including sewing, have well established mental health benefits.
It’s easy enough to list the reasons that hobbies are good for your mental health.
- Decreases stress
- Boosts mood – especially if listening to music too
- Protects against depression
- Creates community
- Supports mindfulness
But for me, the benefits are more complex and are inherent in how I am thinking, experiencing, and learning as I create. I don’t want my hobby to be a buffer or an escape, but an avenue for changing my thoughts about myself and how I think about my place in the world. And changing thought patterns is incredibly important for lasting contentment.
Here’s what I learned as I first launched myself into the world of garment sewing with the Hinterland Dress by SewLiberated. (Meg is a slow sewing, mindfulness through craft guru!)
Basically, It’s a hug for your soul (I made this print to remind me of that when I need it. I’d love to share with you. Get a high quality image as a free download by filling out your email below)
Fill out the form below to get a high quality, printable download of “Hug for your Soul”
The Beginning
I just stared at the swaths of fabric stretched out on the living room floor, looking perfect. Way more perfect than anything I thought I could make, and definitely more perfect than my confidence in my nascent garment sewing skills. Thoughts along the lines of, “This fabric is way too expensive for me.” and “What do I think I’m doing? I’m not even really that into clothes.” annoyingly zinged around my head.
This Hinterland Dress project started after several failed attempts at finding a compatible therapist. (Note: I support therapy! You should find a therapist! I’ve had years and years with an amazing one, but I don’t have the patience, time, or money to suffer fools and that is all who seemed to be accessible to me and my mediocre insurance in the middle of 2020.)
My thinking around therapy with less-than-effective therapists goes something like this. 1) My time is precious, therefore I want to enjoy it! 2) So, I need to take care of my mental health. 3) But, my time is precious! 4) And, therapy just assigned me next steps to go do things for myself with time that I don’t have 5) Because….I used that time for therapy. (Another caveat, I’m pretty sure that I have ADHD, which explains this thought pattern and my need to be actively doing rather than re-thinking the thoughts I already thought, just with a stranger instead.)
So, I just jumped ahead a bit, shelved the self-help books and canceled the appointments, effectively decluttering my space, calendar, and mind in one fell swoop. I bought some fabric and time. (You have to buy time when you have small children.) And I started doing while simultaneously undoing unhelpful thought patterns.
Here’s what I learned
1. There are NO shoulds with body measurements or sizes, and clothes are supposed to be comfortable
- It’s all just data- numbers for your body stripped of meaning are just numbers.
- Patterns, especially independent ones, are refreshingly free from vanity sizing which means that they fit and celebrate the body you have.
- It doesn’t have to be tight or ultra-fitted to fit and feel great (4 sample muslims later when I figured out that the ease is SUPPOSED to be there, because, you know, comfort…)
2. Perfectionism is debilitating and I will no longer joke about it
- “Perfect” fabric is useless in yardage form. It must be cut to be functional!
- Speaking of functional, after pregnancy, breastfeeding, or simply surviving as a person who has been socialized as a woman in society, you get to celebrate the body you have with gratitude for what it can do, no apologies or explanations necessary
- The more you practice, make, and do, the more you learn for NEXT time. Not this time. Again, there is no perfect, and ripping out seams endlessly just pokes holes in fabric and confidence so it better be a real mistake and not perfectionism sabotaging your time.
- I’ve never had a good fit with ready made garments, so they’re definitely not perfect either and anything you make will be better because it’s not going to fall apart in a year and contribute to the destructive fast fashion industry
3. ALL colors, styles, and opinions are valid OR Don’t let the patriarchy tell you what to think
- I’ve avoided pink my whole life. Some combination of it being evocative of my grandmother and feeling that I had to rebel against it to not fall prey to female stereotypes. Rebelling against a color is kinda stupid and allowing the patriarchy to tell you what you can and cannot like is even stupider. Voila, pink! And I love it!
- All styles are good styles. Thinking anything else, especially about a woman, is patriarchy telling you to be judgemental of someone simply doing what they damned well please (aka, existing). (As I’m looking at patterns and listing ideas I’m doing some serious checking of those snap judgements popping into my head. People can exist. No judgement necessary.)
- Worth and value are intrinsic to being alive. Being alive is enough, it is wonderful, and it is a gift. You deserve to feel fabulous, special, and precious no matter what you wear, but wearing a hug to yourself is a good reminder all the same.
And this dress feels like a hug. Hugging my brain, saying it’s ok to be instead of to think. Hugging my soul, saying it’s not selfish to take time to learn and play. Hugging my body, saying that existing is enough and there is no need to earn the right to feel good in what I put against my skin.